up & down

hmm its few seems tragedies for me now..
or maybe not?
its a sign?
i guess ya....
its leading me way to be the better reptiles...Xp
but it is mainly impact on the self-confidence....
AGAIN?! ya.. again.... lols...

lets come with the first one...
before that i thought i was quite good in drawing....
and yet drawing it just not only black and white....
but colours~
the insensitivity in colour in me makes me feel more into the colour blind!!!!
it is something to do with the c0lour flow from dark to light and the reflection of colours and blend on the(etc... etc...)...
wow...
its a quite a distance of jump through here...
practice makes perfect...
and practice and be more sentitive (sensitive here mainly in arts) will do i guess...
correct me if i'm wrong...
haha...
since i was feeling so disappointed by the first colour drawing...
and by the same time i got back all my black and white drawings in the first sem...
its unbelievable! which i've almost forget...
and the results are kept throughout the sem and until now only released!!!
from the first grade B- to the rest B+.....
Finally i scored an A in the final perspective drawing!!!!!
now i really feel it!
it's more like a encouragement...
once i felt...
"practice makes perfect" is making sense!!!! XP

the second was....
now i'm entering the second lesson of language communication skill....
and ya...
today was the presentation...
i think the tragedy fell on me...
and a little on others too!
something its really worth to laugh with...
i stucked! really badly and cant even spell a single word for almost half a minute...
that is outnumbered of distractions happened in recent...
though really i'd really prepared my presentation...
but just cant get myself prepared....
for its quite big impact on my self-confidence...
the immature of thinking is still flowing a little by little by the plenty of time...
and i'm acting against from it...
and forcing myself to doing things in the RIGHT way perhaps...
( just trying to seek for the true answer...)
and i cant just make used to it...
and as what you can see..
i failed...
its a big disappointment for me on presentation for the very first time...
which i never felt...

BUT...
i tend to laugh at it...
its also the things i should happy with...
relax and see what fell in my past....
i done presentation smoothly and so well compare to now....
but that time i just feel that, it ain't any satisfaction or things to happy with...
but now i realized...
its so true that...
if i won't fall....
i won't feel the pain...
and whats the feeling of satisfaction really are....
and i don't know how happy in happiness can be...

As for those art work...
what i can say was...
as if you achieved a certain level...
and when you entering a new level...
you'll realized...
everything before this level...
ain't a big thing...

as for the future....
if i'm looking back this....
it ain't a big thing....
but for me now...
its a BIG thing of course!!!!!!

propelling forward!

P/s: its a little harsh and impatient of the lecturer today... a little pissed off... but its ok.... since lecturers from our coll are mostly part-timers and yet they all are considered professional enough... just a little bit trouble with time... especially when lecture hours and working hours come to a crash... hope it may improve and a little more punctual will be just fine...=) and ya great presentation you guys having! proud of you guys^! keep it up and with improvement of course!!

* was hoping you ok with the little critic, since its just a beginning. its find to make mistake now and improve from it and it'll be fine in the future.something i realized... your quality of work is degraded i'm just hoping what i'm thinking wasn't the truth. sincerely hoping all the best in everthing you do. you still have your friends support you. nothing to be afraid. for you everything is going smoothly just learn to appreciate things that's it. friend indeed is friend in need, BUT not friend in need is friend indeed. hope you get what i'm trying to say.
You know who you are.