Smile~=p

to Someone... Maybe you are right, I'm not understand you at all...
Sorry ya... For those words that really bothers you which i didn't realize...
All i want... is just want you to find back yourself...
want you to know avoid doesn't change anything but pressure you...
as times goes by....
the load on your shoulder will increase....
and this probably might hurt you deeply without realize...
Finally you'll gave up...
hide yourself....
and totally lost yourself...
And slowly we will never see you anymore....

when the time you don't love yourself...
anything bad might happen....
and things will getting worse and never a U-turn will come after it..
facing the prob is nothing about solving the prob....
but just you got to stop hesitating, worrying and all negative thoughts....
and start to accept the fact..
things that happening to you now...
achieve things a little by little....
not to rush yourself for everything that you cant finish on the spot...
just like before you get to the top floor of the building you got to pass through the 1st floor, 2nd floor....
and the following floors right?
now the situation is like the elevator is not working...
and you got to use the staircase to climb up to the 100th floor...
so you are now choose to fear yourself with the 100th floor and thinks that you'll never get to 100th floor as the elevator had stop forever...
cant you just take a 1st move on to the emergency staircase?
achieve a level by level...
from there you also can get out from the emergency door and check whether the lift whether it is working???right???
action speaks louder then words....
now the choices are in your hand...
whether you want to take this challenge or prepare to give up....
Well... maybe you still think that you need sometimes...
yea... you can have it.... but don't take it too long ya!
try walk through the stairs slowly...
I will just beside you. talk to me as you feel so. Don't ever think that every words of you might pressure me. I can manage that unless you suspect me. Don't give up as we didn't give up you. Love yourself before anyone do. Don't think that keeping everything in yourself is a way as you can't manage it. If you still treat me as your friend. Do not so welcome with me. Since I'm ready for you.

Cheer up friend.
As the sun will rise. Theres always better tomorrow.
I will always remember the days we had spent together. outing. Genting. Your house. Hospital. and every words from you. Please come back k? I don't want you to lose yourself. Since I never think of losing you this friend.

P/S: The moment that I never forget. The heartbreaking news that happened to you. I'd spent my off working hours with you throughout the night in the hospital. i stayed awake though I'm tired. afraid of you to wake up in the middle of the night and no one to talk to. Feels like crying with you. But i can't. Cause i know i got to be stronger. Friends came in bunch stay overnight with you during the hardest moment too. You promise us not to give up. You have achieved very well. And why you give up now? does it really worth you to do so???? Don't break the promise k? Don't fear yourself with the future. Don't bother yourself with the all your pass. Don't fuck up life in the present. Just do what you can do. AND. you are working besides study its already tired, don't mess up yourself with those stupid thoughts. Since its a great start and you took the 1st move. means you are strong. I'm proud of you. keep it up. As you feel sick. Just cry it out loud. Just tell me as you need a shoulder. Then wipe off your tears and continue. trust me. It is not going to be forever. there will be a sunny day. Remember we are in the rain with you under the same umbrella. GAMBATEH! you can do it. I'm counting on you.